Date Contributed: January 25, 2006 by EternalBlight

Nickoli's Mormon Tale

So these missionaries show up at my door, right? They ask the usual questions, 
while i'm trying to watch Requiem for a Dream and it's the final sex drugs 
intense scene (you better know what i'mm talking about, if not, watch the 
goddamn movie) so i tell the missionaries they can come back, but they 
send some other ones because i scared them. well, these missionaries try to 
talk to me about miracles and i get into my paganism-ness, and they tell me 
that there is no such thing as magic. so i ask them how moses parted the red 
sea and they say that it was a miracle. I ask the difference, and they tell me 
god creates miracles. So i ask them how they know that god isn't creating my 
miracles. They don'tt come back, but they send these other missionaries who 
keep cant say my name (they pronounce it with th "I" sound at the end. So I 
tell them that nickoli (with the "I") is a word for satan in mormon theology. 
They leave quickly and send other missionaries, who stalk my ass and come to 
my work and bring me breakfast. All in all i am not that impressed with the 
bravery of missionaries.